Ask Helix about Cats

What does Helix have in common with ALF?

They both appreciate fine, feline cuisine.

Ask Helix About Cats

Do you have a question for Helix?
Click here to Ask Helix!

Your question and Helix's answer may appear on this page.

Question:
"I have just recently gotten two new kittens, a boy and a girl. The boy is orange and white and the girl is calico. Do you know any good names to name them?" (Shell)

Answer:
Helix really doesn't have a preference of cat names. As long as your cats are furry, have four paws, a tail and whiskers, Helix will be all too happy to devour them.

Of course, if you gave naming rights to Helix, he would probably suggest you name the boy, "Breakfast", the girl, "Lunch", and adopt another tasty kitty so Helix can name it "Dinner".

Question:
"Does Helix have a favorite type of cat to eat? Are some more tastier than others?" (Michelle)

Answer:
Helix is generally not a picky eater when it comes to dining on delicious felines. However, some breeds are tastier than others. For example, Helix usually only has an appetite for cats with tails. Bushy tails are a sign that the cat is ripe and ready to be eaten. This is good news for the Manx breed. Helix would only eat a Manx if no other cats were available.

Everyone has a favorite meal and Helix is no exception. Here is Helix's dream dinner by breed:

Appetizer:
Bombay

"If ever there was a cat breed that seems to have jumped straight out of a Halloween fright flick, it is the eerily beautiful Bombay. The Bombay's sleek, glossy black coat and copper eyes make it resemble a miniature black panther. It was developed from the Burmese breed and exhibits the muscular body type and affectionate, playful temperament of the Burmese."

Main Course:
Maine Coon

"The 'State Cat of Maine' actually does sometimes resemble a raccoon in coat coloration and with its long, bushy tail. The Maine Coon is known for its large size, easy-going temperament, and rugged appearance. This native New England breed is well-adapted to that harsh climate, with a heavy, shaggy coat, bushy tail, and tufted ears and toes. Though the brown classic tabby pattern is perhaps the best known, Maine Coons are available in a variety of colors and patterns. The Maine Coon is one of America's oldest cat breeds, originally a mouser-extraordinaire, but now usually a faithful house companion."

Dessert:
York Chocolate

"The York Chocolate is a new breed, developed from domestic, non-pedigreed cats. It is
distinguished by its semi-long hair, soft, silky coat, and plumed tail. As its name implies, the cat is known for its chocolate coloring, and comes only in solid chocolate or lavender, or solid chocolate and white or lavender and white bicolor. It is not widely recognized."

Breed descriptions courtesy of Cats Online

Question:
"Does Helix like cat fur or does he prefer them skinned?" (Michelle)

Answer:
Helix is very familiar with the human expression, "There's more than one way to skin a cat." but regardless of how many ways you can think of, it still takes up valuable time that could better be spent actually EATING the delicious feline. The time savings is just one reason why Helix eats them whole. Fur also traps in their natural flavor and makes them extra tasty. This is primarily why Helix prefers his cats with fur on top. In fact, sometimes Helix adds extra fur for good measure! This is especially true when preparing short-haired breeds for his Soup.

Question:
"How many cats do you catch each night?" (Jay)

Answer:
Helix's nightly catch of cats largely depends on what he uses for bait. Lately, Helix has relied on a catnip mouse to lure unsuspecting felines into his mouth. On a good night, Helix can catch up to a dozen cats this way!

But sooner or later, the crafty felines will catch on and then what will Helix do? Help Helix build a better cat trap.

Click here to offer your suggestions to Helix for trapping tasty cats

Question:
"Do you like cats raw, boiled, fried or baked? Or maybe cat pie is in order for desert?" (Michelle)

Answer:
The possibilities for preparing a cat are endless. Most of the time, Helix eats them raw but he's been watching lots of cooking shows lately and he's eager to try out some new dishes.

In fact, Helix plans to open up his own fast-food franchise. Coming soon to your neighborhood, stop by Helix's KFC - Kentucky Fried Cat.

How many herbs and spices will go into Helix's secret recipe? What will they be? Will Helix only offer tasty fried cats or will you be able to get side dishes at his restaurants?

Helix is clearly in need of human help to develop his tasty menu.

Contribute your tasty recipes & menu suggestions

Question:
"When you make Cat Soup, is it creamy or kind of broth based?" (Bree)

Answer:
Helix is not picky about his Cat Soup. He will try anything once. If Helix had to pick a favorite, it would have to be "Chunky Alley Cat Flavor". After many requests from consumers, Helix has decided to market his own recipes.

This summer, look for Helix brand Cat Soup on store shelves everywhere. Remember, "It's the one in the orange can!"™

Question:
"Does Helix like guinea pigs for dinner because I don't like my guinea pig and I wonder if Helix will like it?" (Alex)

Answer:
Helix is certainly not a fussy eater and is always willing to try new foods and new species. While he's never actually tasted guinea pig, Helix is sure he would like guinea pigs for dinner. In fact, they would probably make excellent appetizers for Helix's Cat Soup.

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