Bridget Jones's Diary



Helix's Review

While this film is clearly intended for female monsters, even the most macho male will come around (although it may take a couple viewings). Rene Zellweger is just THAT fantastic (not to mention delicious) in this role. Without question, her best work to date and it will surely be noticed during Award Season.

There is only one thing that will detract from your enjoyment of this movie. Colin Firth. It is true that Helix has not yet read the book the film was adapted from but isn't this supposed to be a love story?

Throughout the entire movie, Zellweger exudes emotion. But, Colin Firth barely cracks a smile, let alone generates any type of heat with Bridget. He has plenty of opportunies to drop the standoffish act and give us a reason to root for him. Especially since he just happens to pop up WHEREVER Bridget is.

Helix wonders why nobody told Firth that he plays a LOVE INTEREST, not an obsessed stalker. Most of the time, he looks like he wants to kill Bridget or throw up on her. It's not that Colin was poorly cast in this role. He has lots of talent. The problem is he seems more interested in presenting himself as a lawyer instead of a lover.

On the other paw, Hugh Grant does EVERYTHING right. He's not afraid to express himself with his eyes and body language. The e-mail flirtations with Bridget about an absent skirt are particularly noteworthy.

In anything approaching a love story, lack of chemistry is usually a fatal flaw. In this case, Rene Zellweger manages such a brilliant performance that her irrepressible charm alone guarantees "Bridget Jones" instant classic status.

Helix's Rating

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Things Helix Learned from this Movie:
Stop talking total nonsense to strangers.

You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz.

Rene Zellweger has a bottom the size of Brazil.

No one ever gets sacked for shagging the boss.

The only thing worse than a smug married couple - lots of smug married couples.

Never dip your nib in the office ink.

Favorite Edible Item:
A feast of blue soup, omelet, and marmalade.

Other edibles referenced:
Turkey curry buffet, lumpy gravy, a paddling pool, Kafka's Motorbike, beet root cubes, caper berry gravy, tuna, celery, a fireman's pole, wheat crunchies, orange parfait, orange pudding, blue string soup, a reindeer jumper, moldy cheese, mince pies, vodka.

Favorite Lines
I was wearing a carpet.

If you ask me, there isn't enough blue food!

Suppose it doesn't help that underneath our clothes, our entire bodies are covered in scales.

You were such a lovely normal color.

Favorite Scene
A tie betwen:

A very sloppy (therefore realistic) fight scene between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. Helix thought he saw some biting!

and

Rene Zellweger in a bunny suit!

Expressions Helix Should Use
Oh, bloody hell!

Wanker!

Crikey!

Right-o

Oh, just sod off!

Oh, bugger, bugger!

You daft cow!