They
Finally Did "It"!
Helix and Alyce the Sheep have
finally mated. Could a baby now be on the way?
Baby Alyx
Courtesy:
Colleen
According to a poll conducted on Alyce the Sheep's website, humans
think the offspring of monster and sheep should be called
a "meep".
Ask Helix Questions about Alyce
the Sheep
Sew-Mate Soap Opera News
Monster Mumblings about Helix
& Alyce
|
Over the years, many humans have
asked Helix for dating advice. They've watched him
romance Alyce the Sheep and they often wonder, how they
can land that special someone and live happily ever
after.
Helix is pleased to impart his wisdom in the ways of
love. He will regularly publish his Dating Tips in this
section. These tips are proven to work for monster hand
puppets. Will they work for humans? You don't know until
you try!
This week's tip:
Always d-fuzz before going on a
date!
Helix celebrated Valentine's Day by sharing a bottle of
wine with his sew-mate, Alyce the Sheep.
Alyce has packed up her pasture and moved to London!
What new adventures await her?
Visit Alyce the Sheep's website to find
out!
Helix and Alyce the Sheep had a lovely Valentine's Day
this year. The creepy puppet master was gone for the
evening so monster and sheep spent most of the day curled
up in the CPM's bed.
 
Helix showered his wooly love with
many presents including a stuffed Valentine's Day bear, a
box of chocolates, and the best gift a monster could give
- he tenderly combed her wool.
And of course, Valentine's Day
wouldn't be complete without a little monster/sheep
lovin'.
 |
 |
Monster/Sheep
Update
Things have been pretty quiet lately in the ongoing soap
opera between monster and sheep. What's Alyce been up to?
Here's the latest straight from the sheep's mouth...
"Helix might be alarmed to hear that Alyce has met a
new sheep, and so far they're getting on worryingly well.
His name is Shaun, and he is a backpack too. They have a
lot in common. Shaun is already famous, from his starring
role in Wallace and Gromit (see http://www.wallaceandgromit.com )
and a bit of a smooth poser sheep." (Alyce
the Sheep)
Alyce was right! Helix was not
only alarmed by this news, his fur turned green with
jealousy.
How will Helix react to Alyce's
new "friend"? Stay tuned!
Top 10 List
"What do women want?"
It's a timeless question that
human males ask themselves. Helix has the same problem
trying to figure out what sheep want. He has tried to put
himself in Alyce's trotters and think like a sheep. But,
he still doesn't have the answer.
Helix has gone straight to the sheep's mouth to get the
goods!
This week's Top 10 List:
Top 10 Things that Sheep Want
by Alyce the Sheep
| 10. |
In a ram: Good fleece and
a sheepish smile |
| 9. |
Flowers |
| 8. |
Hundreds of lambs |
| 7. |
To be respected and not
chased across fields |
| 6. |
Their own language |
| 5. |
An end to Lamb as a
delicious dish |
| 4. |
Recognition and praise |
| 3. |
Strap privacy |
| 2. |
The freedom to bleat in
the night |
And the number one thing that
sheep want...
| 1. |
More sections in beauty
magazines devoted exclusively to them |
What's
Your Bar Code?
Noting his large female audience,
a lot of male humans have written Helix asking for advice
on how to pick up women. Despite having tremendous upper
body strength, Helix has never actually picked up a
woman. However, Helix does have a few words of advice for
those of you seeking a special sheep in your life.
The first thing you need to impress a sheep is a pair of
sharp, pointy horns. However, if you were not created
with horns, do not give up hope! You can still win a
sheep over with the perfect pick-up line.
What smooth opener did Helix use
on Alyce to get his horns in her pasture? You may be
surprised! He used the oldest cliche in monster hand
puppet mating, "What's your bar code?". Monster
and sheep struck up a conversation and the rest is
history.
While monster and sheep exchange bar codes, humans
generally exchange their astrological signs. Helix knows
it's quite common for humans to interpret their
relationships through astrology. Helix and Alyce are no
different. Unfortunately, there are no monster
astrologists or numerologists in the area. Monster and
sheep need your help.
First, compare Alyce and Helix's
barcodes.
Alyce's Barcode |
Helix's Barcode |
Now,
tell them what you think.
Are Alyce
and Helix really "sew-mates"?
Helix will post your "readings" on this page.
Helix's Mother's Day Gift to Alyce
May 11th, 2003 - While
Alyce and Helix have yet to conceive offspring of their
own, Alyce is still quite busy looking after her lambs that she adopted during
her previous marriage to Edward. This
year, Helix wanted to give Alyce a Mother's Day gift to
remind her that single mother sheep can still be sexy!
What did Helix get Alyce for Mother's Day?
A
leopard print bra! What else?
Romancing
the Sheep
This spring, Helix has been in the dog/monsterhouse with
Alyce. First, he exposed her straps to the public. Then,
he published photos of him mating with a fuzzy sweater.
For awhile, it looked like the monster/sheep romance was
coming to an end.
But, wait! Helix has apologized to Alyce for his
insensitivity and has found a way to make it up to her.
Helix took Alyce on their first romantic weekend getaway,
spending April 11th & 12th together in a large
whirlpool suite at a local area hotel.
Click here for previous Sew-Mate
Soap Opera News
|
