March 17th, 2004 - St. Helix's Day
(The day Helix ate the snakes!)
Helix's snake hunt was a huge
success this year!
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Saturday, February 7th, 2004
Helix poked his puppet hole outside for this first time this winter.
7/18/03
Helix tried to introduce himself to Gingersnap, the creepy puppet master's new pet hamster. Gingersnap was not interested in meeting a monster hand puppet and quickly retreated to the safety of her cage. Helix found this behavior to be a little rude and is now considering making a Hamster & Cheese sandwich.
Helix shows there are no hard feelings and volunteers to lend a paw during the cleaning of her cage.
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7/09/03
At the beginning of June, Helix suffered a computer crash that threatened to end his online existence. In fact, Helix spent the last 6 weeks without any Internet access!
However, Helix is pleased to announce that he has temporarily resolved his computer issues and is BACK in business!
Helix thanks you for your patience and your support as he quickly tries to get caught up on updating his website.
Please note that as a result of this crash, Helix may have lost some of your e-mails. If you e-mailed Helix during the period of June 1st - July 9th and have not received a reply, please resend your message.
Those of you that have joined the mailing list, requested bumper stickers, or are expecting other things from Helix in the mail, please be patient. Helix has not forgotten about you!
During his recent absence, Helix found a wonderful way to preserve his monster freshness.
This
entry dated:
6/01/03
Helix made his third trip to the park this year. This
time, Helix was excited to find the playground empty of
scary children with sticky hands. Helix had it all to
himself!
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Helix went straight for the slide first but he enjoyed all of the equipment.
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After a busy day, Helix relaxed on
a park bench.
5/28/03
Another sunny day meant another trip to the park for Helix and CPM. After his failed escape during his first outing of the year, Helix tried to win back the CPM's trust by offering him a dandelion picked by his own little, orange paws.
Does this mean Helix has given up trying to escape from the CPM? Of course not! But, patience is key. He must wait until he can catch the creepy puppet master off guard before he makes his next move.
5/18/03
Helix finally made it outside for the first time this year! Helix accompanied the CPM on a trip to the park. And quite predictably, Helix took this opportunity to try to escape. When the sun hit the CPM in the eyes, Helix made his move. He broke free and hid up a tree.
The CPM was bewildered. Where did Helix go? He frantically scoured the park while Helix watched from the safety of his perch. When it appeared that it was all clear, Helix climbed down to enjoy his freedom.
Ah, but freedom would not last. In an ironic twist, the sun was now in Helix's eyes and blocked his view of the CPM who slowly snuck up on him.
Helix was helpless and was once again, captured by the CPM. Thus, ended Helix's first and short-lived outing of the year.
Helix did learn a valuable lesson from this experience. Monster hand puppets, heed these words of advice. If you ever escape from your creepy puppet master, do not stop to smell the roses (or in Helix's case, dandelions).
4/20/03
Thank you to the many tasty humans who sent Helix e-cards, e-mails, and other well wishes for a Happy Easter.
Helix is especially grateful for the wonderful Easter cards he received this year from overseas.
Ro & Roxy the Rabbit
Leeds, United Kingdom
Christine
Leverkusen, Germany
Helix had a fabulous holiday and hopes you all did, too!
This
entry dated:
4/11 & 4/12/03
Helix had a wonderful time with Alyce during their
romantic weekend getaway at Country Inns & Suites.
Not only was this their first trip together, it was also
Helix's first time in a hotel.
 Being a safety-conscious monster, Helix first memorized all of the fire exits. |
 Did Helix just see tasty Housekeeping go by? |
 Helix found many new places to perch. His favorite was the hotel's trademark wreath above the bed. |
 Helix was disappointed by the lack of a mini-bar but he did enjoy the complimentary Country Inns & Suites coffee. |
 Helix cat-watches out the hotel window. While he saw many tasty guests that weekend, he came up cat-less. |
 Helix relaxes in an ice bucket. What a great place to hide from the creepy puppet master! |
 The bathroom was stocked with plenty of fuzzy towels but don't worry - Helix didn't mate with them. |
 Helix tries to order room service but without vocal cords, he's unable to place his order. |
 Helix does his best impersonation of a bat. |
 Do Not Disturb. Creepy puppet master, this means you! |
This entry dated:
1/13/03
Helix Receives Third Pair of Artificial Legs
Helix is pleased to show off his third pair of artificial
legs. Helix received this special Christmas present from
his favorite human, Lissa. These legs are very special -
they came with PANTS.
Helix quickly learned that when it comes to putting on
pants, he shouldn't imitate the creepy puppet master.
This entry dated:
12/25/02
Helix
hung his stocking with care
In hopes that tasty cats soon would be there.
11/28/02
Thanksgiving
Pet Peeves
Helix is very thankful for all of the tasty human friends
he has met in the last year. In fact, on Thanksgiving Eve
(11/27/02) - Helix's website had its 10,000th hit!
However, this holiday season also had its down side.
Here are some of Helix's gripes:
Being used as an oven mitt
Running out of Cranberry Cat Sauce
Having to compete with pumpkin pie as the most orange
thing at the table
Inability to gobble
No Helix balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade
Puppet hole stuffed with creepy hand instead of bread
crumbs
This entry dated:
10/31/02
Helix Gets "Birth"day
Legs
For his
"birth"day, Helix received his second pair of
artificial legs.
A very special thank you goes to Favorite Human Julie for
these spectacular new limbs.
Click
here for more pictures of Helix's new legs
Click
here for pictures of Helix's first pair of artificial
legs
This entry dated:
8/04/02
After extensive (and expensive)
therapy, Helix has decided that it is time he face his
fear of the washing machine.
Helix has no plans to actually BE washed (even on the
gentle cycle). Helix is still SURFACE washable. But, he
is only a few months away from turning 1 year old and it
is time to overcome youthful fears.
For the first time, Helix ventured into his master's
basement and squared off with the terrifying appliance!
Helix is making progress! He was
able to approach the empty machine and even look inside!
Next time, he may be brave enough to sit on the machine
while it's running!
7/21/02
The creepy puppet master has shown an unusual amount of compassion lately. This month alone, Helix has been outside THREE times!
Helix tries to just enjoy this freedom but he can't help but be suspicious. The creepy puppet master MUST be up to something!
Helix was right! This is proof positive that his master is planning to imprison Helix in a steel cage!
Helix should also point out that his puppet hole has been getting stretched beyond normal capacity by the creepy hand. Helix's seams are starting to show!
This is clearly monster hand puppet abuse! Won't you help Helix escape the creepy puppet master?
Click here to e-mail Helix your escape plan ideas!
Here are some of the ideas Helix has already received:
"Lock your master in his bedroom. Make sure you turn the lock around first. Oh, and try not to trip over the bodies." (Colleen)
"I think Helix should escape tarzan-style, as his arms are strong and no legs (ooops) are called for. Wait until the creepy master is sleeping, tie all his socks together and make your escape! Good luck!" (Vicky)
This entry dated:
7/19/02
Today, Helix's creepy puppet master took him on another outing. This time, Helix got to goof around at a local playground.
 Helix tried the swing.  And the tire swing  Helix plays in the sand.  Helix monkeys around on the Monster Bars. |
 Helix enjoyed the slide. Look at him go!  Uh oh! Helix forgot. He doesn't have legs to stop himself!  Silly Helix! |
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This entry dated:
6/29/02
Helix's creepy puppet master
recently took a little vacation from violating Helix's
puppet hole. Among the fun activities he enjoyed were an
Eagles concert, a Twins game, a night at the theater, a
day at the Minnesota Zoo, and a visit to the Mall of
America. Helix was sadly left behind and did not get to
enjoy any of these things.
HOWEVER, the creepy puppet master did have one moment of
weakness and Helix finally got to experience the GREAT
OUTDOORS!
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5/12/02
Helix can't help but be a little sad today on this Manufacturer's Day holiday. You see, Helix squandered all of his Orange Tic-Tac currency on horn polish. He has no money left over to buy his manufacturer (an undisclosed factory in China) the gift it really deserved - a lifetime exemption from child labor laws.
Despite being empty-pawed, Helix still wishes a happy day to the wonderful production line that put him together. And, after all, it's the thought that counts, right?
Helix wants to know...
What did you get your parent company for Manufacturer's Day?
This entry dated:
4/28/02
Helix pouts to find that it's
April 28th and there's snow on the ground! When will
Helix be able to venture outside without fear of getting
his fur wet?
2/14/02
For Valentine's Day, Helix ate a six-pack of chocolate-covered humans. They were delicious!
1/13/02
Why are humans always asking me questions about the creepy hand up my puppet hole? Helix's cruel master does not matter. It is Helix that counts!
12/21/01
Dear Santa Claus,
Helix has been a very good monster this year. Please
bring Helix legs for Christmas.
What would Helix do with legs?
Wear pink, fuzzy, slippers
Play hacky sack
Learn to Ski
Compete in the Boston Marathon
Take Tap Dance classes
Join the World Kickboxing Federation
Use the phrase "kickin' it" and mean it
Eat them and see if they taste better than frog legs
12/9/01
While grooming Helix's mane this morning, a large clump of fur fell out. Helix has noticed he has been shedding a lot lately but he thought it was just hiswinter fur growing in. Could Helix be going bald? Will people still like Helix if he has a comb-over?
12/8/01
Sometimes Helix worries, is he losing his new puppet smell?