Monster
Mumblings
What Humans
are Saying about Helix D. Monster!
Topic: Evil Plans
| "Biting humans is one thing but torturing Pooh is just too much! Please leave Pooh bear alone." (Nancy) |
| "I saw your de-canning of Oscar the Grouch, quite impressive." (Aragwen) |
| "Hey man! I heard that you are torturing Pooh! I got 2 suggestions. Put pooh in the oven or put Pooh over the stove. It will probably help." (Anonymous) |
| "Enjoyed your website. Overthrowing Punxsutawney Phil shouldn't be too hard. After all, you are essentially picking on a rodent that is afraid of its own shadow." (Persnickety) |
| "We have all been notified of the latest updates, and some people are happy that you have made a pact with Pooh. I still think I see malice in his beady black eyes, so be careful!" (Elizabeth) |
| "Cover Pooh in manure so he lives up to his name!" (Anonymous) |
| "I
saw your website. It was really nice, although I disagree
with your evil plan of roasting Winnie the Pooh! He is
such a sweet bear, and I love him a lot!" (Brenda) Monster's Note: Just for the record, Helix never tried to "roast" Winnie the Pooh. However, Helix did try to toast him in a toaster! |
| "Need help tugging the legs off? Have one of your friends hold the Blue M&M and tug like ya never tugged before. It should do the trick. I'll send ya some one horned magic via e-mail. You can do it." (Unicorn - Helix's biggest one horned fan) |
| "Cook Pooh in the oven!" (Mabel) |
| "Love your pics on torturing Winnie the Pooh. Never could stand him. Keep torturing Pooh. He has had enough time in the lime light being sweet, it is sickening." (Jessica L.) |
| "Greetings, O' fluffy and orange one! Those evil plans are eeeeevil! Until next time, I cower before your polyester glory!" (Jules) |
| "I hope you get the Blue M&M's legs. I can't stand those M&M's on the commercials!" (Chrissie) |
| "I think that ironing Pooh was a particularly nasty thing to do, not sure I quite approve." (Chel) |
| "I
must say, Helix is a good name for a monster puppet who
has been cloned. DNA is shaped like a double helix.
Incidentally, don't feel bad that you were cloned.
There are some very good advantages to being a
clone. If you ever need to replace an organ, your
siblings may be able to help you, and you won't be in
danger of rejecting the tissue. Also, if you leave
DNA evidence (or orange fur) at the crime scene of one of
your evil plans, the FBI won't be able to prove it was
yours, because it could easily belong to one of your
other clones!" (Peter) (Monster's Note: A request has been made to retain Peter as Helix's lawyer.) |
| "Bee tried to stay calm when she found out Helix was talking with Pooh. Helix best be stuffin' that fat bear in Oscar's trash can!" (Bee) |
| "I'm sorry that most places do not allow you in their establishments. Just sneak in, you won't be the first and definately not the last." (Monica) |