Monster
Mumblings
What Humans
are Saying about Helix D. Monster!
Topic: Love & Sex
| "It's a cruel world out there but you sound like a resilient little puppet and I'm sure you'll find your mate eventually." (Iris) |
| "I notice you are a Scorpio - you know what they say about Scorpios! They say that Scorpios are sex mad, power hungry and control freaks! But what would "they" know, right?" (Caitlin) |
| "If I had a cute little fuzzy orange hand puppet like you, I would cuddle with him every day." (Chris) |
| "I think running naked with you anywhere would be fun." (Kym) |
| "Not only did I finally receive my Monster Spray, but I got a lovely poem from you too. Not even my tasty human boyfriend writes me poems!" (Elizabeth) |
| "The world of Furniture Porn is fast spreading around here, it's gained many new fans in the Metro area! My boyfriend doesn't like me looking at it, but he is not a true Helix fan...this could cause problems. He has horns though...maybe that's why I like him so much?" (Anonymous) |
| "I have told people I am talking to you and I get funny reactions. Some people say I'm silly, others, like my husband are jealous. He wouldn't care if I talked to a real man, but talking to a puppet (a cute one) makes him angry." (Madelaine) |
| "I
was checking out the website and noticed that Helix has
decided to celebrate his birthday in October, on
Halloween of course. That is great to hear not only
because I too, celebrate my birthday in October, but my
favorite human and I are planning on gettin' hitched this
Halloween as well! Not only will I be celebrating
Halloween and Helix's birthday, I will also be
celebrating my wedding day! Great minds/monsters think
alike. Don't you agree?" (Erin) Monster's Note: Helix agrees with you, Erin and wishes you all the best when your Favorite Human slips that ring on your horn! Errr.. finger. Helix wonders if your reception will cater to your monster guests and offer both wedding cake and wedding cat. |
| "I always had a thing for monsters. Especially soft, orange ones." (Julia) |
| "Well, if he's human curious, I'm soon to be single. Although, I don't know how my parents would take me dating yet another monster." (Kari) |
| "I do have some monsters in my life and one sock puppet but you are the first hand puppet. Have you ever considered a career in porn by the way? I think with my genius and your looks, I could shoot you straight to the top, baby." (Anonymous) |
| "I hope you and your human have a good Easter. Maybe you can start dating the Easter bunny." (Kym) |
| "If Helix goes out in public, (should his master choose to take him) he may just find someone to love. You never know who's out there and we will all be attending a monster wedding." (Velvet) |
| "I have a thing for monsters, I like monsters." (Jessie) |
| "Bee should make Helix pants case Helix ever meets a monster and he has to meet her parents!" (Bee) |
| "You can play with my fuzzy sweater if i am wrong Helix, but I think I can tame a monster. We should hang out sometime. We would have a great time eating smurfberries and watching furniture porn!" (Abby) |
| "I'm always down for monster hand puppet quality time." (Erin) |
| "MMM - Wow I'm getting goose bumps. I looked at your page. It's way cool. I think I'm falling in love with you." (Deanna) |
| "I would give Helix freedom, love and devotion....and even scratch his neck." (Deanna) |
| "Awww Helix, I think I am falling for you. I think about your fur all the time, dream of your horns and well that's enough of that for now." (Deanna) |
| "I must admit that I am very sweet but I doubt I would be to your taste! Although on occasion I have been known to wear bunny ears. Unlike your orange fur and pointy horns, I can take my bunny ears off. I know, I know, you must be marveling at this amazing ability that I have which is why I'm thinking that I'm just way too much for you. However, I would be willing to set you up with one of my Beanie Baby friends. Don't let the baby part fool you. These friends of mine can be quite frisky!" (Bridget) |
| "I love you Helix and you are NOT a cartoon cat." (Anonymous) |
| "I'm getting a crush on you, Helix. This is different than my crushes on David Beckham (captain of England's football team) and a guy at work though." (Anonymous) |