America's Sweethearts
Helix's Review
The first thing you should know about this film is that
the title is VERY misleading. The average movie-lover
naturally assumes that "America's Sweethearts"
is a biopic about Helix and Alyce the Sheep.
Unfortunately for the viewing public, this is not the
case.
Once you get over your initial
feelings of betrayal by the flagrant false advertising,
you will find a pleasant (but predictable) light
romantic/comedy. It's not laugh-out-loud funny but there
are some memorable moments.
John Cusack and Julia Roberts are adorable as always.
They have good chemistry and Helix would like to see them
paired up again - preferably NOT in a film co-scripted by
Billy Crystal. He needs to stick to writing Oscar jokes.
Catharine-Zeta Jones plays the
role of Hollywood Monster exceptionally well. Hank
Azaria's "Hector" character takes a bit to grow
on you but he has some choice moments, particularly at
the end of the movie. Christopher Walken sports a very
stylish mane.
Bottom line, a great cast assembled for a mediocre story.
But, it's still worth at least ONE viewing.
Helix's
Rating
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Things Helix Learned from this
Movie:
People don't kill people at a
Hyatt.
The beach grass grows toward the sun.
Conflicted is the word du jour.
Eggs are best served in the lap.
Humans dream about bread.
30 pounds of food can break your fall if you fall off the
wagon.
No laugh, no tip.
Favorite
Edible Item:
A Wellness Guide
Other edibles referenced:
Pork tenderloins, Prozac, red
carpet, buttered popcorn, a golf cart, diet pills, eggs,
toast, a nut hut, minibar, half of a raccoon, beluga, a
press junket, mango, fruit salad, Evian, an entourage,
cactus, Kishtonga root, mouthwash.
Favorite
Lines
Hello? I have a neck too. This thing holding up my head.
Felix, this is Oscar. The monkey is in daycare.
Pretty soon, you're going to smell Ira Stern, my
attorney!
How much longer do I have to stay out here with these
people? They're getting drunk and they're starting to
touch.
Favorite Scene
Julia Roberts knitting.
Helix thought this was very suggestive and was surprised
this scene didn't cause the movie to receive an R rating.
Favorite Names for Monsters
Kiki
Prickers
Peeping Helix
Gazoo
Helix Dons a Fatsuit
In 2001, there was much
controversy generated when several leading ladies
(including Julia Roberts) wore fat suits for
movie/television roles.
Never one to be politically correct, Helix also strapped
on some extra pounds.
Casting directors, please take note!
Favorite Evil
Plan Mentioned
Choke Larry King by his
suspenders.