Top
10 Lists
David Letterman may take credit for popularizing the Top 10 List
but Helix will take credit for eating David Letterman and
stealing all of his bits.
Top
10 Rejected Reality T.V. Shows
| 10. | Joe Monsteraire |
| 9. | The Fifth Horn |
| 8. | Meet My Clones |
| 7. | Helix Eat Cat |
| 6. | Who Wants to be a Creepy Puppet Master? |
| 5. | Sheepmates |
| 4. | Xtreme Puppeting |
| 3. | Fur Factor |
| 2. | Ambush Monsterover |
And the number one rejected reality T.V. show...
| 1. | Plastic Eye for the Straight Guy |
Top 10 Things Helix Hates about Summer
| 10. | Time spent outside in the sun contributes to fur discoloration. |
| 9. | Schools are out and children with sticky fingers are EVERYWHERE! |
| 8. | More daylight means less beauty sleep. |
| 7. | Summer reality T.V. shows are constantly interrupted by tornado/thunderstorm warnings. |
| 6. | Sprinkler systems attack without warning. |
| 5. | Fourth of July fireworks often lead to accidental fur fires. |
| 4. | Ritual sacrifices of monster hand puppets at beach bonfire parties. |
| 3. | The Creepy Puppet Master in a tank top. |
| 2. | Being stepped on by joggers. |
And the number one thing Helix hates about summer...
| 1. | Mosquitos in the mane. |
Top 10 Things Helix Loves about Summer
| 10. | Humans are more interested in watching Shakespeare in the Park than puppet shows. |
| 9. | Road construction season means lots of orange signs and more importantly, horn-shaped cones everywhere! |
| 8. | Sipping cold Mountain Dew Live Wire orange soda. |
| 7. | Using inflatable Orange Tic-Tac raft to float down the Mississippi River. |
| 6. | Outdoor barbecues that serve Cat-Kabobs. |
| 5. | Fuzzy sweaters may have disappeared but tasty elbows are now exposed. |
| 4. | State Fairs conveniently round up humans into giant monster hand puppet buffets. |
| 3. | An unattended pair of rollerblades can mean a quick getaway from the creepy puppet master. |
| 2. | Seeing Alyce the Sheep in her wool bikini. |
And the number one thing Helix loves about summer...
| 1. | Finding relatives at yard sales. |
Top 10 Rejected Names for Helix Clones
| 10. | Dope E. Monster |
| 9. | Puppet A. Monster |
| 8. | Horn Les Monster |
| 7. | D. Tagged Monster |
| 6. | Smell E. Monster |
| 5. | Old Dirty Monster |
| 4. | Pita Phil Monster |
| 3. | N. Sane Monster |
| 2. | Abe Normal Monster |
And the number one rejected name for a Helix clone...
| 1. | Ugh Lee Monster |
Top 10 Things that Helix would never say
| 10. | I love the creepy puppet master. |
| 9. | Skip the Tic-Tacs, do you have a stick of gum? |
| 8. | Let's go for a ride in the washer! |
| 7. | Julia Roberts is jealous of my nose. |
| 6. | Eat cats? Are you crazy? |
| 5. | Elbows are not monster chew toys. |
| 4. | Horns are overrated. |
| 3. | Sheep are okay but once you go Muppet, you don't go back! |
| 2. | Would you puppet me? |
And the number one thing Helix would never say...
| 1. | Stay teal! |